and the winner is:
That moment when You can’t deny YOUR DAD’S A GANGSTA OH APPLE PIE JUST LOOK AT THAT STARE IT COULD MELT ICE I BETTER NOT LET HIM GET NEAR THE RICE HE KNOWS YOUR SECRETS HE KNOWS THE SLANG ROCKING OUT TO 60’S MUSIC BANG BANG BANG SO WATCH YOUR BACKS HE’S BEEN SET LOOSE YOU’LL PROBABLY FIND HIM Feeding a goose. Praise for ‘Near the Rice’ ‘The most beautiful poem I’ve ever read. So exquisitely in touch with the rebellious minds of thugs. Neat.’ - THE NEXT POP SENSATION/KANYEWEST/PRESIDENT/maths teacher ‘Near the Rice accurately portrays the devastating impact of living in a gangsta’s shadow’. - Old man on the street wearing a fish and chip cap ‘Bold, lavish, surprising. Excellent rhyming scheme. Highly sophisticated poem.’ - Head of Cambridge University ‘Stunning.’ - Her Royal Majesty the Queen Praise for ‘Near the Rice’ ‘The most beautiful poem I’ve ever read. So exquisitely in touch with the rebellious minds of thugs. Neat.’ - Mr Taylor-West, maths teacher ‘Near the Rice accurately portrays the devastating impact of living in a gangsta’s shadow’. - Old man on the street wearing a fish and chip cap ‘Bold, lavish, surprising. Excellent rhyming scheme. Highly sophisticated poem.’ - Head of Cambridge University ‘Stunning.’ - Her Royal Majesty the Queen ELLOOOOOOOOOO
RIGHT SO I WAS FINKING DAT WE SHOULD REALLY EXPLAIN WHY THE DUCK WE HAVE SUCH AN OBSESSION WIV GABE THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE: GABE IS THE GODLY BARTENDER EVERYTHING, FROM HIS SWAG WALK TO HIS CLOSET WHERE HE HIDES, TO BURNING DOWN STOOLS AND DESKS WHEN HE GETS PISEED, IS BADASS. SO WE HAVE DECIDED, IN THE INTERESTS OF EDUCATING OURSELVES, TO COMPILE A GABE HANDBOOK. PLEASE WAIT FOR UPDATE COMING PRESENTLY. ELLO SUCKERS
WE JUST ATE SHREDDED UP SPAGHETTI FOR LUNCH AND THUG NUMBER ONE JUST GOT A TETANUS BOOSTER AND IS DYING YEAH SO LISTEN UP YOU ASSHOLES WELCOME TO HARDCORE BOOT CAMP IF YOU ARE NOT WILLING, RIGHT NOW, TO DROP EVERYTHING AND DEVOTE YOURSELF TO THE FREAK WAY OF LIFE, THEN THIS ISN'T THE PLACE FOR YOU SO GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE BUT IF YOU ARE READY, LIKE A ROB IN SHINING ARMOUR, THEN SADDLE UP FOR THE NEXT POST: GOD GOES CLUBBING LOVE YOU FELLOW FREAK SQUAD, OVER AND OUT P.S. REGISTER YOUR HOLY COMMENT BELOW TO VOCALISE YOUR VIEWS ON LAMPS PPS GABE IS THE STRONG MAN OF GOD YO |
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